The Grrrr factor

The ‘Grrr…’ assaults me more often of late. Some young designer has concluded that there is a better solution – just to make my life a tad thornier.

Simple things change for no apparent reason:

a. For many decades I used a certain traditional Transparent Soap. I liked the smell, and I could push the blob (when I could no longer hang on to it in the shower) into the unique deeply indented shape of a new cake, which it fitted exactly. No waste – perfect industrial design. But, it wasn’t enough, so they put cellophane (grrr) wrapping inside the old cardboard box and re-shaped it like all other soaps. Oh, and my latest bar was made in Hindustan…

b. For slightly fewer decades I used a certain “Nose and Elbows” shampoo. I want my remaining hair to be squeaky-clean; so I can feel and hear the squeak – then they re-formulated it with lard or some-such; hair can glisten like ersatz Brylcreem. Back to the original Unseen Medicated, but avoiding the ‘frequent’ variety which has lard. Then they changed the ‘teardrop’ label so I couldn’t find it. Then – then! - they made the whole bottle teardrop shaped so it slips perfectly out of soapy hands in the shower.

c. A microwave’s prime purpose is to soften butter straight from the fridge, or was until they started wrapping butter in metallic foil. Now it not only tastes like marge (low-salt) but looks like it too.

What gets your goat – or is it just me?

Labels that say "30% Less Fat" - Less than what?

"20% Improved" - So their previous version was no good?

"Cleans Stains Faster" - than what?

On a 400g pack of food it says "Less than 0.5g fat*" - with a miniscule note at the bottom of the label saying "* per 50g"

Oh I could go on but it's a lovely sunny day and there must be something that needs doing outside!

Agreed wholeheartedly. Do they think we're all so thick?

A few more while I'm on:

Bath Oil – a name-clue. Slippery skin, greasy residue and hopeless towels are the results. Something wrong with white clouds of Dettol in the bath?

We migrated to liquid hand-wash pumps for the kitchen and loo (modern, what?). Bought the refill quarts, and refuelled as needed. Too easy/ logical/ eco. Now we have a cupboard full of empties waiting, forlornly, for a bulk refill….

Same with orange sweetener pills. Bulk refill 1000s just aren’t the 21st Century Way. Conspicuous Consumption rules OK. Time is short (mine increasingly..).

My mobile commits suicide every 3 months if I haven’t had an emergency in the car (its raison d’être). Need a diary note to remind me to ring me (grrr).

And – why does my favourite peanut butter jar now have a lump at the base and at the shoulder, so my knife can’t get at the hidden bits? Just to frustrate me.

And, And, And…

Here are a few of mine...

"Kills 99% of all known germs". -But what is the 1%? I'll bet it's something nasty we don't want to know about. Bubonic plague maybe?

The recent idea that we should not touch soaps, taps, toilets flush handles because its 'dirty', yes, lets keep feeding the notion and we'll all end up with OCD. (And thats no joke either!)

I agree about the peanut butter jars, but it also applies to yoghurt pots too! Why put ridges around the sides that you can't get the stuff out of?

Yes, there are many more, and I dont suppose it will get any better!

Harrumph!!!

Mike D

Still, progress beckons:

So, we’ve outgrown (i.e. replaced0 our vinyl LPs, cassettes, videos, multi-plug-less fat tellys. We have vintage PCs and tiny green screens hiding in the attic with floppy discs (8" and 4.5"), have bought and rejected battery-eating digital cameras, bought and drawered all the screwdrivers for the new/better screws, used our redundant dishwasher salt on the snow, etc.. But, we are fervent evolvers who relish ditching our new’ish CDs and probably will soon embrace i-thingies.

On the upside, the dressing table (what?) is a tidier place these days. Gone are the weird glass bottles balanced precariously on the top of successors, extracting last drops. Design has caught up – they make the ladies’ tops flat and wider (Oi, you) so they can stand alone and proud, upside down. And Radio 4 is still there on the dial (what?) of our many wirelesses (what?) on FM/LW until finally Blaired like the fat TVs.

But we’re worth it.

Well,

I kept most of my vinyl, I still have a useable VCR, I have not ditched my quite large collection of CDs.

As well as my digital camera, I also regularly use 35mm cameras.

I also like steam trains, telephones with rotary dials and old buses.

If you think I'm an 'old codger' -well I am- and proud of it.

I don't stand in the way of progress - just sort of side step it!

(old) Mike D

Hi there,

The cost of loving is going up as well!

Remember the huge tubes of KY Jelly at about £2.50 a pound?

Can't find them nowadays. Just tiny little tubes that cost £4.50 for half an ounce and a corresponding "price per pound" of about £150!!

It's happening to almost ANYTHING that is sold in a tube!! The tubes get smaller and smaller and the price per kilo gets higher and higher!

It's called "Corporate Greed!" enjoy!

Best regards,

Hi Ian,

I was going to comment on the 'KY' factor.

But it 'slipped' my mind.

(Remember size is relative, the older you get........)

Mike D

KY - isn't that for smearing on rubber seals round doors and windows on the van - to stop them sticking and squeaking? - Thinking about it, it's the same reason....

As for not touching germ-smeared handles (OCD comment above), the latest battery non-touch dispensers of liquid soap defeat my poor old logic. Surely you wash your hands AFTER touching nasty things? Does that mean that the soap inside is completely useless at combatting any infection on the plunger?

Rosie.and.Dick wrote:KY - isn't that for smearing on rubber seals round doors and windows on the van - to stop them sticking and squeaking? - Thinking about it, it's the same reason....

As for not touching germ-smeared handles (OCD comment above), the latest battery non-touch dispensers of liquid soap defeat my poor old logic. Surely you wash your hands AFTER touching nasty things? Does that mean that the soap inside is completely useless at combatting any infection on the plunger?

Hi R & D,

The non touch dispensers dont have a plunger do they?

The one we have however, continues to deliver its goo long after you have removed your hand from its 'magic eye'. Two GRRR factors, a sticky mess on the edge of the sink and you use up more than you need! (Good marketing ploy there, use more -sell more.)

Apparently KY is now sold as KLY. What the 'L' does the 'L' stand for? Learner maybe?

regards,

Mike D

Rosie.and.Dick wrote:................ Surely you wash your hands AFTER touching nasty things? ...............

I can NEVER understand the men who fail to wash their hands BEFORE going to the toilet!

With the rare exception of a few "memory loss" nights I have always known where my todger has been; but my hands are a different story!

Cancer of the scrotum is endemic within all industries that use or handle mineral oils (especially mechanics, turners, fitters, oil & gas workers etc) and after you have seen a few colour photographs of the problem it becomes second nature to wash your hands BEFORE going for a pee!

Best regards,


PS I actually don't possess a "nasty thing"! I have always considered it to be a perfect working example of the genre!

What really gets my Grrrrr going are those pendants who insist on correcting my spelling.

Tonyt wrote:What really gets my Grrrrr going are those pendants who insist on correcting my spelling.

Surely you mean pedants? . . .
Oh, I see what you did there!
I'll get me coat . . .

1b449 wrote:Well,

I kept most of my vinyl, I still have a useable VCR, I have not ditched my quite large collection of CDs.

As well as my digital camera, I also regularly use 35mm cameras.

I also like steam trains, telephones with rotary dials and old buses.

If you think I'm an 'old codger' -well I am- and proud of it.

I don't stand in the way of progress - just sort of side step it!

(old) Mike D

except for the old buses, I can say yes to everything in this post.

I gave up when Cusson's stopped making " Pink Pearl" Bath Creme ( about 10 years ago) :(

Ahhhh, nostalgia just isn't what it used to be..............

So many thinks even a young codger like me do miss..... We had a dinner the other night and our hosts played LP's on vinyl with my mate trying to convince me it sounded better. It didn't. Not in a lounge crowded with furniture anyway!

I don't miss the old mobile phones that I had to carry around in its own separate briefcase, don't miss the rattly old trains (got new rattly ones instead) and really don't miss old cars as primary transport with not a lot working, least of all the brakes. Now old cars to polish (by someone else) and admire...... That's different.

Cheers! Back to work unfortunately

Edit - I really DO miss Hai Karate aftershave...... What on earth were we thinking about back then? Oh, yes, I remember and Hai Karate put more of the fairer sex off than attracted them. My first girlfriend is now a Nun, not a great claim to fame, is it?

DuxDeluxe wrote: My first girlfriend is now a Nun, not a great claim to fame, is it?

I was having a cuppa when I read that and nearly spat it out!! Brill.

Unfortunately it is true....... Very clever lady, much smarter than me

DuxDeluxe wrote:........................... My first girlfriend is now a Nun, not a great claim to fame, is it?

That just has to be the most negative advertising that any after shave could get - brilliant

what gets my goat is we have to have passwords and user names for all communication no matter how trivial they are.!! And most think i only have to remember theirs!!
I could go on ,but my blood pressure is rising
Mike