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Burns nicht poem

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Askit
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Post by frederic Sun Jan 31, 2021 11:13 am

here is a wee poem.

Ode to a fart.

Oh what a sleekit horrible beastie
Lurks in yer belly efter the feastie
As ye sit doon amongst yer kin
There sterts tae stir an enormous win’

The neeps an’ tatties an’ mushy peas
Stert workin’ like a gentle breeze
But soon the puddin’ wi’ the sonsie face
Will have ye blawin’ a’ ower the place.

Nae matter whit the hell ye dae
A’body’s gonnae have tae pay
Even if ye try tae stifle
It’s like a bullet oot o’ a rifle

Hawd yer bum ticht tae the chair
Tae try an’ stop the leakin’ air
Shift yersel fae cheek tae cheek
Pray tae God it disnae reek.

But aw yer efforts gan asunder
Oot it comes like a clap o’ thunder
Ricochets aroon’ the room
Michty me! A sonic boom

God Almighty, it fairly reeks!
Hope I huvnae crapped ma breeks!
Tae the bog I’d better scurry,
Ach, whit the hell, it’s no ma worry.

A’body roon aboot me chokin’
Yin or twa were nearly bokin’
I’ll feel better for a while
Cannae help but raise a smile.

Wis him! I shout with accusin’ glower,
Alas! Too late! He’s just keeled ower
Ya dirty * Inappropriate Word *, they shout and stare
A didnae feel welcome ony mair

Where e’re ye be let yer wind gang free
Sounds like just thon wee jobby for me
Whit a fuss at Rabbie’s party
Ower the sake o’ ma ane wee farty.



IT WASNA ME!!
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Post by Askit Sun Jan 31, 2021 11:28 am

lol4 allthumbz

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Post by burlingtonboaby Sun Jan 31, 2021 11:54 am

Tick from me
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Post by AliG Sun Jan 31, 2021 1:44 pm

Haha, nice one, i can appreciate that, I’m just up the coast from you Frederic in North Ayrshire, still waiting the arrival of my van, keeping an interest in the forum meantime.
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Post by HairyFool Sun Jan 31, 2021 1:57 pm

Just blame the dug.
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Post by Kingham Tue Feb 02, 2021 9:44 pm

Excellent poem Frederic and a good way of my learning the lingo now I’m resident in D&G allthumbz

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Post by frederic Wed Feb 03, 2021 1:51 pm

Here's tae us
Wha's like us
Damn few,
And they're doon South
Mair's the pity!
Though at the present best place for them.
I recon that the influx of people over the Xmas/NY break raised our Covid level from low in the 
charts to one ot the highest, this was personally oberved by us during the previous restrictions when one w/e the shore at Sanheed saw over 20' vans and campers with not a public toilet open!!
The CMC sites down here were well managed and patronised, we went to them several times and patrons were well behaved 
and considerate. Not sure how Castle Douglas and Kirkcudbright municipal sites performed. Cragie Gardens Ayr was also very well used.
Be nice to have a head count of members north of the border, postings seem to indicate low teens??
maybe a few more with 'lurkers' pc
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Post by AliG Wed Feb 03, 2021 2:35 pm

Fred
I have been camping,camper van and motorhoming for around 30+ years abroad and in Scotland, for peace and quiet you cant beat D&G and i normally keep that fact quiet but have noticed the past few years it has been getting busier. I think people coming up from the south have their blinkers on and go for the highlands etc and miss out on the south west, even fellow Scots are unaware how nice an area it is. My brother stayed in Kirkcowan for a few years which as you will know is not far from Stranraer.
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