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Bad Manners Or Something Else ?

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Post by Kingham on Wed Jun 03, 2020 9:17 pm

I’ve just been reading a resurrected thread about an updated ‘thank you’ button and note that several members prefer the option of actually saying ‘thank you’ in a typed response. I can see benefits of both systems and regularly use both on other forums, but that’s not the point of this post.

Whilst reading the aforementioned post, it came to mind that I answered a different post over two weeks ago, offering what I thought was reasoned advice based on my own experiences and taking the time to attach an image, hoping it would help the originator. A couple of other forum members had also kindly responded before me, one also adding an image, the other a web link.

During these times of pandemic, when there was no response to any of the contributors, I worried that the originator may have more important things on his mind, or indeed may actually be poorly, but he actually visited the site a few days ago.

A few questions do spring to mind...... 

1) How long would you normally wait after asking for advice, before you respond. 
2) Could one assume that the OP is waiting or hoping for more advice before responding. 
3) Could one assume the OP didn’t like the responses. 
4) Is it likely the OP has suffered technical issues.
5) Could there be another reason.

I can’t be the only one that thinks an acknowledgment goes a long way to spreading the love best_friends

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Post by Paulmold on Wed Jun 03, 2020 9:27 pm

Unfortunately it happens too often. Usually it's a new member who joins to ask a question , gets his answer and disappears. Strangely they never have any further problems to ask about or do they rejoin under a new name and repeat the whole process again.

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Post by Bobskate on Wed Jun 03, 2020 9:34 pm

Completely agree. Manners cost nothing. I had an experience on Facebook a couple of years ago when I sent a message to a woman who was in trouble and it took a fair bit of time to assemble the advice in a coherent manner, particularly as she was new to motorhoming. I heard nothing back but 24 hrs later she posted that the issue had been resolved. I sent her a message asking if my advice had helped. Oh yes it had! You can be assured if she comes on again for help the silence from me will be deafening.
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Post by Kingham on Wed Jun 03, 2020 10:17 pm

So as not to fall foul of my own whinge, I shall take this early opportunity to thank you both for your responses. 

An early night ensues as I’m up early in the morning, so any other potential responses may not be seen until I’m back from kayaking tomorrow.

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Post by Bobskate on Wed Jun 03, 2020 10:54 pm

Don’t worry. You have not incurred my wrath. 😀. Enjoy your kayaking...sounds fun.
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Post by Roopert on Wed Jun 03, 2020 11:43 pm

This may sound a bit daft, but I asked my Dad why he never joined any forums to ask questions, and his reply was that he was never sure when an answer was expected, and when the thread (he didn't use that word) was "finished".

It became obvious that he simply did not think of a thread as a "conversation", but more a Q&A interaction. To him, the answer (or answers) was the end of the thread.

I think this is actually not uncommon, among people who don't have years of experience of reading (and interacting within) forums.
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Post by Kingham on Thu Jun 04, 2020 4:19 am

Bobskate wrote:Don’t worry. You have not incurred my wrath. 😀. Enjoy your kayaking...sounds fun.

Cheers. Two sunrise paddles already this week up!  Today’s tide is a bit later.

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Post by Kingham on Thu Jun 04, 2020 4:20 am

Roopert wrote:This may sound a bit daft, but I asked my Dad why he never joined any forums to ask questions, and his reply was that he was never sure when an answer was expected, and when the thread (he didn't use that word) was "finished".

It became obvious that he simply did not think of a thread as a "conversation", but more a Q&A interaction. To him, the answer (or answers) was the end of the thread.

I think this is actually not uncommon, among people who don't have years of experience of reading (and interacting within) forums.

That’s an interesting perspective and one I hadn’t considered, thanks.

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Post by burlingtonboaby on Thu Jun 04, 2020 5:20 am

Enjoy your day Kingham, I see I'm not the only early riser.
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Post by Bobskate on Thu Jun 04, 2020 6:59 am

Kingham wrote:
Cheers. Two sunrise paddles already this week up!  Today’s tide is a bit later.
 Some might question your sanity up this time of the morning to go Kayaking, but I go ice skating (or used to!) and that involves early morning to the coaching sessions before the rink opens to the general public. Gosh did some Kayaking off the IOW with the children, wow 35 years ago! Great fun I recall.
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Post by Askit on Thu Jun 04, 2020 8:44 am

Kingham, thanks for raising this issue. I think it's just good manners to say thanks if you ask for advice, pose a question or raise a point of contention and others reply. It no longer surprises me when it doesn't happen although, as Paul said, it more often happens with those new to the forum. My experience is the majority of our forum members are very good at posting a follow up response, to say thanks or tell us what followed.

I don't think it matters so much with light hearted or fun subjects, but on practical ones it would be nice to have the time invested in a reply acknowledged.

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Post by Paulmold on Thu Jun 04, 2020 9:13 am

Another point is that as well as being new, it tends to be those who do not post an introduction before posting a question.

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Post by Lancy on Thu Jun 04, 2020 9:47 am

I agree with all the above. I have often wondered if it is possible to have emoji reaction options on people’s comments like you can on Fb. I think this could encourage interaction and give more feedback to the author but without the taking away from the conversation 🤔 
I know I have often wanted to express something but it has not particularly warranted a quote and reply which I know can be done just with an emoji , but the time I see a Post there are already replies and it’s been moved on!
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Post by Bobskate on Thu Jun 04, 2020 11:42 am

Lancy wrote:I know I have often wanted to express something but it has not particularly warranted a quote and reply which I know can be done just with an emoji , but the time I see a Post there are already replies and it’s been moved on!
Yes I agree. A sort of brief nod of agreement (or dissent even) rather than having to wear out the typing digit!
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Post by Quilter on Thu Jun 04, 2020 11:45 am

1 would back a Thanks button. When you have had an answer to a question and thank the person who gave it in the next post, there will be many following the thread who get the sound notification that an answer has been posted on that thread. Annoying if all it was was the OP saying thanks.

I much prefer to use a thank button as the thread develops and then, when it has run out of steam, to say a thank you to all who have contributed and what use I have made of the advice.

I always assume, when I have tried to help and got no acknowledgment, that the OP can’t access their mail for some reason. If I see they have posted on another thread I do get a bit miffed however.
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Post by Milvus on Thu Jun 04, 2020 11:51 am

I raised this issue recently, but there seems to be a software problem  :


https://www.autosleeper-ownersforum.com/t25679-adding-a-thanks-like-button

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Post by Gromit on Thu Jun 04, 2020 12:06 pm

There's another issue with only one "thanks" allowed in each thread.

It's easy to see someone else's post go green and think to yourself, "Why did he get the thanks when I posted a much better answer before him?" (Or her!  Whistle1)

I would be in favour if it could be arranged so members could not rack up an individual total - for reasons already discussed.

I can't see why it shouldn't be possible. There's obviously a bit of code that shuts down any further thanking as soon as it has been done once in a thread. Is it just as simple as removing that bit of code??  scratch head
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Post by Dbvwt on Thu Jun 04, 2020 2:56 pm

Quilter, you mention a sound notification? Are we talking about this forum as I’ve never had one of those, probably another setting somewhere smile!
Sorry if I’ve misunderstood.
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Post by JandJ on Thu Jun 04, 2020 4:36 pm

Sometimes yes it's nice to get the feedback as to whether my response was useful or not but I don't get hung up about it - sometimes due to circumstances beyond my control I cannot come back to the forum for long periods of time anyway so wouldn't know if they thanked me or not. In the end the forum fills up with useful info and it's value is in that repository of knowledge and suggestions so even if the specific person wasn't helped then someone else might be in the future.

A generic thumbs-up might be useful: could be used to thanks someone without bulking up the thread or it can be used to back-up someone's point.

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Post by Kingham on Thu Jun 04, 2020 4:39 pm

Thank you. Loads of answers while I’ve been out familiarising myself with the oldest ‘new’ kayak in Scotland. 

I collected it in February, but due to storms Ciara, Dennis & Jorge, followed by loads of poor weather and work getting in the way, then bloomin’ Covid, it didn’t get its first outing until Sunday.

I’ll return to the thread once I’m fed and showered 😆

Bad Manners Or Something Else ? B7976f10

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Post by Quilter on Thu Jun 04, 2020 5:18 pm

Dbvwt wrote:Quilter, you mention a sound notification? Are we talking about this forum as I’ve never had one of those, probably another setting somewhere smile!
Sorry if I’ve misunderstood.

Purely at my end. When I get a new post my tablet and phone play a plinking noise. I never used to bother much but these days I take my simple pleasures where I can. Irritating when all it is is an advert for Over 60 s Funeral Plans or Harry’s Razors.
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Post by Dbvwt on Thu Jun 04, 2020 5:27 pm

Quilter wrote:
Dbvwt wrote:Quilter, you mention a sound notification? Are we talking about this forum as I’ve never had one of those, probably another setting somewhere smile!
Sorry if I’ve misunderstood.

Purely at my end. When I get a new post my tablet and phone play a plinking noise. I never used to bother much but these days I take my simple pleasures where I can. Irritating when all it is is an advert for Over 60 s Funeral Plans or Harry’s Razors.

Sounds like you may have to get a technology minded friend or family member to sort that out, it would drive me mad smile!
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Post by kaspian on Thu Jun 04, 2020 5:31 pm

Yes it's nice to get thanked if you have gone out of your way to help. Personally dont care about stars /badges /points as some  hint at because I dont care where I am on the 'thanks received,' league table!   Surely  not why most  will offer advice . I feel it much better to simply PM thanking someone if they have helped me , its more personal , shows appreciation and avoids anyone feeling that their contribution was any less  valid  because it did not get a star or whatever.
   BTW  Nice Scout Kingham is that a p and h on top? up!
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Post by Quilter on Thu Jun 04, 2020 5:55 pm

Dbvwt wrote:
Sounds like you may have to get a technology minded friend or family member to sort that out, it would drive me mad smile!


Er no...it's a feature not a fault ! See under Notifications on your phone or tablet.  Designed to alert you to new posts or, in the case of the phone, to new SMS messages. It can be set to turn off overnight ( or whenever you choose ).  Most people seem to have it set up on their phone or tablet but it is easy to switch off if not wanted.  I'm the "technologically minded friend or family member".
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Post by Paulmold on Thu Jun 04, 2020 5:59 pm

Notification will only happen if your profile is 'ticked' to get an email on a thread you are following (again you need to set such threads in your profile).

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